welcome obscure blatant song

yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky;
为你写首歌，给你生命中幸福不灭的定律。
我的信念是一棵树，永远不会离开一步，风雪多残酷，我想我挺得住

当诺言划过天空的换日线，天空只留下我们的笑脸

#300
deadlines. conclusions. closure.

为什么我最害怕的事都一一发生了?

I think I'm trying to salvage something broken, because I fear experiencing the feeling of losing something which I have been trying to hold on to for the whole time. Hope this won't slip through my fingers like sand.

I thought I always love Maths. Solving equations, feeling the thrill, and having the confidence that "I can do it!". I really don't want a day to come where I feel that it's a burden and I don't enjoy the learning process anymore.

Life's a cosine graph. Life's a linear graph. Life's a quadratic graph. Whatever it is, please give me some solutions.

SIGH. please assassinate me if I don't finish SMP Facebook Application by Sunday.

#299

I have finally fulfilled my wish of going to the beach. It was great.

Falling down is always a painful experience for me. It seems like when I'm young, ignorance or innocence grab away my fears, the fear of falling, the fear of crying. As I grew up, with the sheding of these two elements, I developed many fears. To protect myself.

IRONY. Because something meant to protect me hurts me even more. Deep down inside.

To be frank, I am afraid of falling, I am afraid that my emotions will overwhelm me and I could not hold myself back. It's like controlling your emotion into a mine, only to wait for it to explode, and cause more destruction. I don't want that to happen! Because I don't want to hurt people around me just because I'm irresponsible with my own emotions.

URGH. Felt like a weak weak porcupine. I must learn to accept the fall, even though it cuts through my skin and need half a bottle of medicated oil to make the pain more torturous.

If I can survive this pain, I can survive anything, can't I?

I may not have find my inspiration and myself back at the beach yesterday, but the journey on the bike, the falling down because of thoughts drifting away, sitting under dripping water air con, going to see the sunset just to know that the sun sets in the west not the east, makes me feel, relaxed, very relaxed suddenly.

Life is like that right. Always on the move on the bike, and sometimes you find yourself at the bottom of everything suddenly, crying in pain because it actually hurts, feel the constant pressure dropping on you, and we may not always get what we want. Whatever happens, even if you have embarked on the wrong trail/ made the wrong decision afterall, what happened has happened. Just got to enjoy life like that.

Yea, I'm learning to enjoy life now.
Thank you yanchun and eleanor for the amazing day yesterday! :D
(Thank you so much also because you gave me a good reason to fight and never walk away)






















&This is the reality and I know that I don't want to use photoshop layers to cover up all the flaws anymore. For once, the truth is amazingly beautiful.

#298
seconds, hours, so many days.
What if my chances are already gone, started to believe that everything went wrong. But you gave me one good reason to fight and never walk away.

"Only when doing MRP, I could feel the long lost adrenaline rush sensation, and the accomplishment warming my heart."

Every step I climb another mountain.
I will make it through the pain, weather the hurricane.

I can go higher. I can go deeper.
There are no boundaries

So, here I am, still holding on.

#297

caterpillar in the tree,
how you wonder who'll be
can't go far but you can always dream


Hey. Blogging in point form again. (:

1) Philosophical line: What doesn't kills you make you stronger.
No, my point of view is that events/ people/ stuff which does not kill you, will result in wounds which may or may not heal in time, leaving a scar behind. The main reason why we felt "stronger" in a sense afterwards, is we are just all immune to this pain and we will have more protective layers. At the end of the day, or end of this life, what we are may just be like an onion, with many many protective layers built throughout the years of life, but we can't find anything inside. We have lost the last chance to feel again.

2) DISNEY HAPPINESS
What one thing which troubled me is that some superficial movie critics always complain on newspaper reviews on disney productions: "storyline and plot is expected" , "slapstick comedy", "only amuse young children", "another typical disney-movie", then with a 3 - 3.5 stars rating. I feel that disney is far too great for them to categorize. What disney represent is not "new movie stunts and plot" which will feed these bunch of reviewers and shut their mouths up, disney actually reprsents dream, happy ever afters, hope, faith, childhood. Even though how cliche such storylines maybe, but what disney brings is laughter and the cheerfulness that can bright up one's day. Who are these bunch of reviewers to get the importance of disney.

gogo disney!:D

3) The Climb
life's a climb, but the view's great. It feels like I'm 10feet off the ground, but yet 10 feet up more to climb. I'm just hanging there, unable to progress, and yet there's a possibility that somebody will come and cut my string. Is it too late to apologize? I need to get my drive back. I need to get my motivation back. I need to get everything back. I feel like a walking, living hollow shell. Just, many many protective layers.

Bright side, tomorrow's playmax(:
我要去海边! 我要去海边! 我要去海边!
找回最初的感动，找回最初的自我。

你愿意陪我去海边走一走吗?

#296

Sorry my posts these days had been kind of weird and "off" in a sense because "off" is exactly what I feel these days. Felt seriously numbed by failures to feel the sadness (disappointment still very prominent though), numbed by success to feel the high high feeling. ah what happen to my life D:

okay anyway, here's a "normal" post and updates of my life. In point form because lazy to organise my thoughts.

1) went for CHATS and realised how easily for minority to be neglected and forgotten, throughout the forum, felt like I suddenly own an invisible cloak. Basically, just treat it as though I am carbon dioxide and has disappeared from the world temporary for one week. I really do not want to remember much from this experience.

2) cip with zhiyun for 3 hours and more makes me realises that I miss her (and stupid victoria) a lot ): and the atmosphere in 203`08!

3) fell sick like 2 days before SYF and shivered in cold under the hot Sexy Singapore Sun! ):

4) watched 百分百 which I have not been watching for so many weeks. Xiaozhu still makes me laugh(:

5) syf on Monday 20/04/09. Felt a rush of pride and ____ for the 3rd time in two weeks and sheena witness this SUPER RARE phenomen all three times. For the first time in my life, I saw sheena ____ and she was also the one who triggered the excess water droplets in my body.

6) went art museum and this makes me conclude that I have enjoyed by two visits to two different museums these two weeks. I have fallen in love with air conditioned museums, the emotions of art are so huge and ovewhelming! And yes, my one-and-only in the future won't mind visiting museums with me on one lazy afternoon and having sips of coffee at some cafe(: romantic yeah?

7) gold with honours(: for the first time I feel that results really don't matter. the "honours" just doesn't amount to the sense of pride I felt.

8) bought yanchun's super unique present!
gotta keep trying, gotta keep my hands held high;

Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
its the climb.

#295
yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky;
skies under hwa chong is like the sky on top of the froggy's well.

Issue Addressing: Carbon Dioxide
Chemical Bonds: Covalent
Elements involved: Carbon, Oxygen

Dear mother earth,

Can you be more tolerant towards carbon dioxide? They are so active and friendly and enthusiastic towards coming to get closer to you yet human and man think that they are all waste and the result of all the problems on Earth, like greenhouse effect. But carbon dioxide is so innocent!

Human always think oxygen is their live, carbon dioxide is the killer. But they provide plants with the energy to move on (photosynthesis) and prove themself a member of the "air" we are breathing in. Living things and even non-living things like candle abandon carbon dioxide, are all eager to get rid of the carbon dioxide in their lungs to embrace the new fresh oxygen. However, has it ever occured to anybody that one must appreciate the leaving of carbon dioxide before welcoming the new element?

Carbon dioxide is always left in the dark. We treat them for granted. They are there, they should be there, they will always be there. What we always do was to shower oxygen with care and concern and leave out all the rest. Because oxygen is important, they may not be there, they will not always be there.

Carbon dioxide is magical. They breathe life to plants. Carbon dioxide has oxygen atoms in it too, so can you please please accept it?

Yours sincerely,
me,me,me

我们像是二氧化碳，你们并没有把我们珍惜在眼里。
被盲目的双目，看不到真情的存在；
被掩盖的双耳，低档不了流言蜚语。

我只想，好好，好好，好好地睡一觉。
明天我会恢复原来氧气的位置。

#294
I'm a hazard to myself;

Basically things are really not what they seem to be. Firstly, holidays don't feel like holidays; SMP shows improvement but time is still tight; survived through first MRP meeting but research seems vague; Got the edited chinese proposal but giving it a start is not easy.

I don't know whether I could survive this. Perhaps I could use the time posting her to do one more Maths question, try to understand one more bio fact, try to memorise one more chemical formula, try to study one more reason for conflict in Sri Lanka, learn one more chinese term, find out one more definition to an english word, draw another graph for physics kinematics. There are so much to do, yet starting almost killed me.

Yes, this is going to be hard. It's again time to pick up those fragments and piece them up together so that I could lead a complete life.

On a lighter note, people are nicer than ever!(:
至少还有你们:D

#293
blanks, images, memories flashed pass when the peaceful seas broke out into sorrowful cries, splashing their tears against the rough sand, and the abrasion washed off the footsteps left on the ground.

I have been thinking a lot these few days, maybe it's the cool land breeze that night which sparked off my racing mind, or is it the life temporary without school work burden and commitments. Recalling my life, people who left footprints in mine, people who are just passerby.

Through obs, I keep getting the frequent occurrence of a sudden rush of emotions, and this in turn evolved into water droplets which by accident took shelter in my eyes. It's always hard to eat this emotion up, making sure it could be digested (it's not as easy as digestive biscuit). Be it cries of excitement, accomplishment, realisation, sorrow, or regret, it's still an experience which made impact.

the song which best describes my feelings/reflections through out the whole camp:崇拜
it's really great and amazing and touching at the same time when you finally find with a song with lyrics describing the whole predicament, melody which touches the soul. :D

I'm glad that some still stay by my side, while I felt that I have lost control over some. The grateful thing is, our basic relationship is still there and I hope we could still smile at each other in the future and always.

你的姿态，你的期待，我存在在你的存在；你以为爱，就是被爱，你挥霍了我的崇拜

风筝有风，海豚游海，我存在在我的存在；所以明白，所以离开，所以不再为爱而爱

my goal is to 自己存在在你之外

活着，还是为了开心:D

#292
VALENTINE'S SPECIAL POST 14/02/09

Due to how rare I post here, I should post a Valentine's post to not disappoint my readers (if they exist)!:D Thank you Gee Ling for being my 2hours Valentine Date(:

The best Valentine Present to award myself:D


梁静茹《静茹&情歌别再为他流泪》
Finally in my hands, after one week.

听着她的歌，有莫名的感动。

The lyrics of her songs are fabulous! Talking about the different phases of love, a definitely great album to own! And the album is pretty! The lyrics book, free impact sweets and everything! Felt so loved!
未来，更要愉快的生存


The reason why I feel like flying to taiwan now!



I want to go this concert like crazy ohman! Isn't it sweet that it's held on Valentine's? (:

只懂得被爱是悲哀，懂得去爱才值得青睐

我的风笛手一定会为我弹奏属于我幸福不灭的旋律

你是不是我的风笛手？(:

#291
As some would say, the end is yet another beginning.
When we walk till the end, it's the end.
It's just whether we choose to turn at some crossroads and start a near journey.



In 2008, I have / full of:
A-ones
Better results
Cconcert`08
Distinction for grade 7 guzheng
End-of-years
Fps
Gong Yuan
Happiness
Irritable
Jaslyn
Kang Xi Lai Le! (康熙来了)
Luo Zhi Xiang!:D (罗志祥)
Music
Nanyang
Olympics
Photoshop
Quizzes
Rie
Sheena
Temper (lousy)-.-
Untidy
Victoria
Wednesday fried food
Xin Tong
You(:
Zhiyun

2
03'
0
8
all the alphabets!;D

After collecting all the 小幸福, it's time to bring some 小幸福 to others' lives.
Thank you Nanyang (203`08, guzheng), primary school friends and family and everybody for appearing in my life, although 2008 has been filled with many fortunate and unfortunate events, I thank everybody for giving me a great 2008(:

byebye 2008;

and

Happy

2009!;D



总是走到尽头，才会选择转弯到其他的道路上

总是回想过去，才能更好的展望我光明的未来